Since my own mini version of Eat, Pray, Love and its transformational effect on my life (see previous blogs), I have been considering what it means to ‘resume’ my life and if, in fact, I even want to.
Heraclites (Greek philosopher) pointed out that ‘ time is like a moving river” and ‘you can never step into the same river twice.” To pick up where you left off would be impossible. The only real constant is change- from the cellular level on up. Getting stuck and wallowing in the ‘same old, same old” is a disorder of perception and has a perceptual remedy. Once we start seeing things as perpetually new and resist laying our templates, beliefs, judgments and fears on ‘life’, we can sprinkle the dust usually reserved for vacations on our paths each day (including freeways, subways, elevators) and open ourselves up to experiencing things as though we’ve never seen them before. Think 50 first dates and then back up a lot.
If we really tuned into the nature of things, we’d be motion sick from the dizzying rate at which one-thing morphs into another, we move from place to place, and from the endless parade of thoughts that marches through our minds constantly.
Perhaps because change is the underlying constant we human being create structures and comfort zones and prisons that keep us ‘safe’. There is nothing like stepping out of our usual routines (think vacations) to provide ‘contrast’ – i.e. to help us get clearer about what makes us happy. I’ve been on plenty of vacations that were but distant memory a week or two after homecoming.
The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results. Since I’m aiming for sanity this time around I am very aware of not wanting to pick up where I left off and of wanting to keep the sense of adventure, openness and excitement alive. I came back clearer about what I want in terms of life-style, relationships and my business.
I’m creating new space and cutting lose what is dragging me down and holding me back. I’m cleaning out my closets and taking inventory. Just as I am about to blame her, him, it… I realize that it’s me! I am the one who is holding me back and I am gifted with chances to clear and release and enjoy my new lighter/freer reflection in the world.
For quite a while now I have been carving my “real” life out of what looks like vacation material. Living in the tropics helps as does having a postcard worthy view. It’s a work in progress, and I’ve taken ‘do-overs’ many times. Slowly and surely, by leaps and bounds, I’m getting to the point where the boundaries are blurring and my “real” life is taking on a more and more free wheeling vacation-like appearance and feeling.
Imagine that you have just returned from a month long cruise. It was long enough for you to truly step out of your day-to- day habits and notice how great you can feel. You are now ‘returning’ to the prospect of a whole new year. There’s no ‘going back’. How will you make it different? What seeds do you want to plant and nurture? And most importantly, what would you like to be celebrating on December 31st 2011?
Whether you go it one step at a time or by LEAPING, I’m offering a limited number of NO COST 15-minute INTENSIVE LIFE COACHING ASSESSMENTS to help you end 2010 on a high note and get excited about your life in 2011. Send me a message with your email (as a comment) and I’ll get in touch asap to schedule your Intensive.
Get ready to WOW yourself in 2011. There are going to be lots of BEFORE and AFTER’s and I hope that you’ll be one of them.
“Before anything manifests in the world, it first appears as a thought or an image in someone’s mind. …. Every positive thought is like a prayer and all prayers are answered.” (Millman)
This is cutting edge, bottom line stuff. The more I ‘get’ the message that what I think and how I feel about it is what I’m inviting into my life, the more I pay attention to my thoughts and the better I get at creating what I love.
I’ve been manifesting some pretty spectacular stuff lately. (See my October blogs to read about my amazing month long, sailing adventure). I manifested an adventure worthy of coverage on the lives of the rich and famous. It was as though I had an event planner for dreams-come-true in my employ – (and we all actually do!).
I’d been thinking about sailing and boats, being on the water and adventure and I manifested a gorgeous boat and long trip in postcard territory. I manifested great weather, beautiful, peaceful anchorages replete with rainbows along the way. I manifested an amazing traveling companion and romantic leading man and I manifested an excitement about my life that had been missing. Not bad, if I do say so myself. And, of course, thank you universe.
There were, however, some glitches and these bubble to the surface. They are the golden nuggets that I am mining. The trip ended. The romance floundered on dry land and the flame of excitement about my life is alive but not always steady.
Its as though I forgot to add some essential ingredients to the recipe like ongoing adventure/life style change and a romance that is amphibious, monogamous and long term.
But now I have. That’s what’s so cool about this manifesting game – we get do overs. We can clean out the closets of our minds, discard limiting beliefs about what is possible and start thinking and imagining anew. I’ve already added the missing ingredients in my imagination and am enjoying what is popping up in the world, even on such short notice I might add.
In the past week alone, I have manifested crewing on my friend CB Jensen’s boat Absolut in the Coral Bay Thanksgiving Day Regatta (we came in second) and falling even more in love with sailing. I’m wishing fair weather for my friends Alan, Susie and T who are sailing Joyous down here with an invitation to join them for adventures as they meander down island. Sailing is proving faster and easier to manifest than love but I think that may be a limiting belief and I’ve manifested a date for drinks and dinner this week. This morning – once again at my office at Magen’s Bay under the sea grape tree – I am thinking and imagining thoughts that I’d love to see manifested in the world… mine and yours – and feeling pretty excited about my life and how I can help you get excited about yours.
What thoughts and images are on the front page of your mind when you drink your morning coffee and set out to greet the day?
I have my G-list in hand – (see last blog post) and I swear by the regular practice of gratitude to keep my life afloat if not aloft. This is the season when in-boxes are full of thanksgiving promotions and messages about gratitude, appreciation, abundance, family, giving.
They are lovely messages and the practice of gratitude works miracles but today I realize that we can’t be picky about what we are grateful for.
It’s easy to be grateful for a pomagranate or a kiss, a rainbow, an act of tenderness or generosity. But what about when you don’t get what you want and are mad, hurt and disappointed? What if your family and friends are nowhere near over the holiday season? Maybe you’ve just experienced a loss of some kind, big or small. What’s to be grateful for there, thank you very much!?
What if we purposely focused on what hurts, is distasteful or difficult – people, places, situations – and made a point of being grateful even if we’re not sure yet for what: for the chance to come face to face with something important, learn what we don’t want, get clearer about what we do want, release old baggage, heal. It’s kind of a psycho-naturopathic approach to healing . You take a dose of what hurts and it makes you better. You love, cradle and comfort what is injured or upset. You examine it dispassionately and accept it completely.
I believe that I have invited the people and experiences that I need to learn from into my life and that they are the perfect experiences and the best teachers custom made just for me. Some lessons are harder than others, some bear repeating and some etch themselves deeply and form beds where water flows. Some lessons are no-brainers and of-course’s and some are subtle and nuanced like astrophysics or zen koans.
When I suspend judgment (“this is good” “that is bad”) and have faith that everything always happens for my benefit, I can feel my G-list swell with the things I’d rather not think about. I can get down and dirty and embrace it all. It’s the Loving What Is of Byron Katie, The Power of Now of Eckhart Tolle.
This morning, I’m standing in my kitchen, looking out to sea. I can hear the waves crashing below. I also hear the silence of the ebb. The rhythm and sounds are soothing. Emotions swell and crash and ebb. There are surfers down at Caret Bay riding the ocean waves. I am up here riding my own and grateful for it all.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Since I can’t jump off the boat for a swim, I’m back in the Magen’s Bay habit. It’s my early morning exercise: physical, mental and spiritual. I walk or paddle board and then get down to work at my office under the sea-grape tree where I’ve been getting a better internet connection than at home.
Beach time is precious and well spent. Not only do I keep my body in shape, but the chatter in my head die downs. I delight in what’s right in front of me: the sand and the sea, sea glass, the people, the birds etc… I breathe deeply and let the good stuff bubble to the surface: the juicy ideas, epiphanies and aha’s. I daydream. I de-clutter my mind and see what’s left – what’s important. I can hear my inner guidance/intuition/heart better if I get quiet and listen carefully.
I have seized the moment and have adopted the holiday theme of Thanksgiving, gratitude, appreciation.
I decided – on my walk this morning – to practice what I preach, make it real and let you know what I find out: Test out the G-list.
As I was walking I began a mental gratitude list. I said thank you for everything that I appreciate in my life, starting with the obvious – good health, the beach, that I live in such a gorgeous place, have great friends, family, my poodles, enough to eat etc…. Once I got started, I couldn’t stop.
I kept walking and thinking of more and more that I was grateful for – and literally my heart started to grow bigger in my chest and I was feeling so good I ended up walking another 1.5 miles saying thank you and I wasn’t even done. To tell the truth I could have kept going – walking and saying thank you – but I was thirsty and eager to get my computer out of the car and begin to put my thoughts down.
The more I focus on what I am grateful for, the more I realize how much I have to be grateful for. It’s like turning on a faucet and watching the stream flow stronger and stronger until it turns into a waterfall. My gratitude list primed the pump, the pressure is great and the energy of gratitude is circulating inside and out.
I ask my clients to keep gratitude journals. Some of them pooh pooh it (like I did), especially when they are not feeling particularly grateful. I say, ” try it out for a week and see what happens” and ask them to write down 3-5 things for which they are grateful at the end of each day. If they have more things to list – go for it. If not, 3-5 are perfect.
The people who do it report feeling lighter, happier and more grateful. Looking for something to put on the list flexes the muscle of gratitude and like all muscles it gets stronger with use.
People notice that when they are grateful for something it keeps showing up in their lives. They become aware that when they complain and are negative those things also keep showing up in their lives.
It’s wonderful to have a special day when we gather together in families and tribes based on blood and/or friendship, share delicious food and each others company and give thanks for our bounty.
Life improves by leaps and bounds when I take the time to be grateful each and every day. It may be writing in my journal, being mindful in everything I do or taking the time to say thank you, thank you thank you ….. as I walk along the shore, the waves lapping at my toes.
Reporting from the field, the beach: When I thought of things I was grateful for, I immediately began to feel better (and I had been feeling pretty OK before). I noticed that when my mind started to veer toward the the dark side that if I thought of something to be grateful for, it was as though someone turned on a light.
Whatever you are doing today, sprinkle it with gratitude. Find something right here and now to appreciate starting with the fact that you are alive and breathing. Appreciate something about each and every person you meet throughout the day. In every situation find something to be thankful for ( you finished a book in the horrible traffic jam or got a good nights sleep because the power went out – you know, those silver linings).
I am grateful that you are reading this post and hope you catch my Magen’s Bay attitude of gratitude – and surf (run) with it.
I finally figured out what’s up with mopping the floors. He said I kept mentioning ‘mopping the floors’ over and over when I got back after a month at sea. Maybe there was more to mopping floors than meets the eye and what did mopping the floors mean to me? Was there some kind of Lady MacBeth thing going on? What was I hoping to scrub away.
I was heading for a clean slate: clean like I left it and how I like it.. I like walking around bare-foot without sticking to the floor. I also like how it feels to open up new spaces inside and out, be more present, cleaner and clearer, unstuck, free to evolve. I think I also saw mopping as clear the way to a new space – inside and out.
The floor is newly mopped: yesterdays footprints have been washed away, it’s the dance floor of the present moment – sun dried tiles on clean feet. I’ve moved from mopping to cleaning the glass sliders and sorthing out long ignored shelves and cupboards, getting rid of stuff – a kind of 3-D mop job.
Then suddenly this morning I had an epiphany about the past and the future and clean floors and mopping.
I don’t want to be walking on steps (including my own) that have dragged in dirt before me. Mopping makes starting fresh possible (even if it doesn’t take long before the floor is dirty again) and there’s such satisfaction when the mop finally wrings clear and the floor shines.
Moving soap and water across the floor of my small cottage, I shift the energy of my home and my homecoming. It becomes lighter and more spacious. Cleaning the sliding glass doors this morning expanded the horizon to infinity. Mopping cleared the way and set the stage.
On the inner landscape, scan your body, check in with your emotional guidance system (how you’re feeling) and notice your thoughts – you can see better where to mop, where the grime and monkey mind thoughts have gathered and which approach will dislodge and dissolve them.
In my kitchen I pull out the stove and cupboard to find rats nests and havens for roaches (yuck). I clean it all up, drown the spots in bleach and take pest control measures. I divest myself of what I no longer need and as the space grows in the drawers, I find that I can breathe better and my small place feels airy and full of light.
The world is your mirror. Whatever you do on the outside is always an indication of where you are on the inside. When you are mopping you are not only cleaning your house but also cleaning your inner hidden pockets and crannies. It’s a dual purpose activity – just add consciousness – results guaranteed.
That being said I’m going to find my Bonnie Raitt CD, crank it up and mop the floors baby!