I have my G-list in hand – (see last blog post) and I swear by the regular practice of gratitude to keep my life afloat if not aloft. This is the season when in-boxes are full of thanksgiving promotions and messages about gratitude, appreciation, abundance, family, giving.
They are lovely messages and the practice of gratitude works miracles but today I realize that we can’t be picky about what we are grateful for.
It’s easy to be grateful for a pomagranate or a kiss, a rainbow, an act of tenderness or generosity. But what about when you don’t get what you want and are mad, hurt and disappointed? What if your family and friends are nowhere near over the holiday season? Maybe you’ve just experienced a loss of some kind, big or small. What’s to be grateful for there, thank you very much!?
What if we purposely focused on what hurts, is distasteful or difficult – people, places, situations – and made a point of being grateful even if we’re not sure yet for what: for the chance to come face to face with something important, learn what we don’t want, get clearer about what we do want, release old baggage, heal. It’s kind of a psycho-naturopathic approach to healing . You take a dose of what hurts and it makes you better. You love, cradle and comfort what is injured or upset. You examine it dispassionately and accept it completely.
I believe that I have invited the people and experiences that I need to learn from into my life and that they are the perfect experiences and the best teachers custom made just for me. Some lessons are harder than others, some bear repeating and some etch themselves deeply and form beds where water flows. Some lessons are no-brainers and of-course’s and some are subtle and nuanced like astrophysics or zen koans.
When I suspend judgment (“this is good” “that is bad”) and have faith that everything always happens for my benefit, I can feel my G-list swell with the things I’d rather not think about. I can get down and dirty and embrace it all. It’s the Loving What Is of Byron Katie, The Power of Now of Eckhart Tolle.
This morning, I’m standing in my kitchen, looking out to sea. I can hear the waves crashing below. I also hear the silence of the ebb. The rhythm and sounds are soothing. Emotions swell and crash and ebb. There are surfers down at Caret Bay riding the ocean waves. I am up here riding my own and grateful for it all.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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