Attracting Paradise

It’s hurricane season in the tropics. Over the past week there’s been torrential rain of biblical proportions (or so it seemed). This morning, I’m grateful for  overcast but dry skies and am headed to the beach to walk.

All along the road there are rivulets of water making their way down from the hills to the sea. Some are smaller and trickle and others gush down steep slopes. At the far end of Magen’s Bay, a narrow channel has been carved into the sand making way for a brackish stream to run into the ocean. I noticed the path it made and thought it was the path of least resistance. All of the streams seem to be going with the flow – winding, oozing, seeping and finding a way through. It’s gravity. It’s Law of Attraction. See you in the sea.

Seeing all these streams of water on their way to the sea fills me with joy and a sense of freedom. I’m reminded to “let go and let god”, be true to myself, take the path of least resistance, go with the flow.

There’s nothing better than heading downstream. You’re lying back in the boat with the oars pulled in. Everything feels easy and relaxed and ‘meant to be’. The pieces fall into place. Everything you desire is waiting for you downstream, in vibrational escrow. It’s waiting for you to stop paddling upstream and catch up with yourself.  Embrace the nature of your own river. Unplug the dams, open the faucets, take a very deep breath and let go. There’s no stopping you.

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I get many emails and am subscribed to a number of ezines of a personal growth, coaching, marketing, spiritual, healing nature. I admit that I just delete a lot of them unopened. Others get opened skimmed and the ones from my faves warrant perusal. It’s a great learning experience – what works, what draws me in, what turns me off, or is forgettable. It’s like watching movie trailers – getting the highlights, a sense of the whole and then moving on. The taste sufficed.

Today I got a phone call on behalf of a coach I like. She is promoting a program and had a free call about it last week. I registered but wasn’t able to be on the call, nor have I listened to the recording. This phone call was to follow up on a special offer to attend the upcoming program. There was no pressure, just an offering and I was impressed rather than annoyed at this ‘live’ follow up. I usually worry that I will annoy people if I approach them to promote something, especially more than once and here I was, having the opposite experience.

I’ve been shining a light on the belief: ‘it’s annoying when people try to sell you stuff’ and have opened a can of worms. I noticed that I wasn’t annoyed when approached in a warm, unsalesy way. If no one knows what great stuff you’re up to and what you have to offer,you’re depriving them as well as out of business. How much does it  matters whether some people are annoyed with me or not. If I  believe in what I have to offer and the stand I am taking, I owe it to myself and to you to put in out there. So do you.

5 Simple Steps to Paradise is a group coaching program that’s for you if you’re a Baby Boomer woman who’s ready to change your mind and transform your life. http://lifecoachparadise.com/5-steps.htm

I intend to overcome my definition of annoying by transforming the dynamic of asking you for something into what it really is – offering you something of great value that will change your life. Interested? http://lifecoachparadise.com/5-steps.htm

Look forward to my annoying you in delightful ways to pique your interest, inform, help you focus on what you want and provide delicious nuggets for your inspiration and nourishment.

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When the cat lady moved I swore I wasn’t going take over feeding feral cats but  I soon gave in, making peace with two cats that  meowed outside my window. I’ve invested in a big tub of dry cat food and answer the plaintive meows morning and night with a bowl of meow mix.

The problem: A family of chickens (hen, rooster and offspring) has moved to my half acre of tropical Eden.  Chickens trump cats.  They’re bossier, bigger and peck the cats away.  I started to shoo away the chickens so the cats could eat but they sneak back as soon as my back is turned.

I now slide the bowl of cat food way underneath my jeep.  The slinky cats eat comfortably and the noisy birds can’t gain access.  It’s amusing to watch them try, give up and go off to eat the vegetation.  If the cats leave stuff in the bowl the chickens show up to finish the job.

If you’re flexible and able to crawl underneath a car you’re eligible for a meal of dry cat food under my jeep.  I have identified my wildlife niche and created a eligibility hoop so I end up with the market I want – furry, hungry and appreciative (when they’re finished they stretch out in the sun below my deck looking sleek and well fed.) They like what I have to offer and how I offer it. They’re return visitors.

But so are the chickens!  They too want what I’ve got.  If they were paying I’d have a solid income stream.

It made me wonder who the chickens are in my world?  Who are the people I’ve decided are not my ‘ideal clients’ who keep showing up? Am I turning a blind eye on people who are asking for what I have to offer because I am focused in another direction?

I’m digesting this food for thought and saying, ” Thank you cats. and chicken family for being the perfect teachers of important life lessons.  I have a great photo I wanted to share, but am having technical challenges so will leave the scene to your imagination.  Make it vivid and may it bring a smile to your face.

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Intentions matter. A powerfully crafted, closely held intention can make all the difference the morning after and the next and the next. Setting intentions invites people, places and things into your life that further your intention. Having an intention creates your future.

I came across an article in Shambala Sun called “Sprouting Seeds of Compassion by Marc Ian Barasch. Marc decides to see what would happen if he simply planted a seed of good intention and waited to see what came up. That seed grew into millions of trees. He started an internation green, tree planting organization.

“There is something within each of us, within each situation, that already knows how to grow, that just needs light and nourishment to potentiate a truly magical creative force.

If you start small, dream big, plant a seed of intention and care for it, it’s not unrealistic to expect something marvelous to come up.”

Since I’ve been doing these Intention calls, the subject and practice of intentional living keeps popping up. My understanding and tool kit grow by leaps and bounds and I’ll keep sharing what I learn to help you create powerful intentions that work magic in your life.

The next Intention Call is Sunday, August 1st. To register go to this link to sign up.

www.lifecoachparadise.com/calls.htm

Start now to plant a seed and set your intention.

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On Father’s day I miss my Daddy – Herman Raphael Nayer (1909-2003). I think of all the father’s day gifts that I made him over the years and of all the gifts that he passed on to me:
- my deep set eyes and hook nose
- love of literature, great music and art
- appreciation of intelligence and genius
- curiosity and awe
- the transformational power of great suffering
- the depths and heights of the human heart
- Yiddish stories, Freud and Shakespeare
- off color jokes
- dill pickles and pastrami (in my pre- vegie days)
- cultural judaism
- New York City
- Sunday Times crossword puzzles
- serving and caring for others (he was a physician)
- swimming
- clam digging
- endurance
- warm hugs
- the gift of deep conversation
- love

Happy Father’s Day.

-

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Whatever we resist persists. Whatever we focus on expands and, when we’re resisting and struggling and complaining we are focusing on what is getting in our way and pissing us off. Our focus feeds the resistance to match our own determination to push past it. Pretty exhausting! We all do versions of the myth of Sisyphus every day, using up lots of energy in the process.

I’m all for doing things differently. I’m tired of pushing against, judging, feeling self-righteous and like a victim struggling against the current to get to shore or to town or just to a peaceful place in my heart.

So…. I have started telling a new story about resistance. I LOVE RESISTANCE and I’m proclaiming it to the universe. I am grateful every day for the push and pull it sets up in such a rhythmic and musical way. Resistance is my latest favorite dance and, as a dancer from way back, I welcome the spins and twirls, the push-aways and the pullbacks. I love finding and relaxing into exactly the right dance ‘frame’ and moving gracefully. I love coming from a place where leading and being led are part of the same package.

When I think about resistance this way I start to smile and have fun. I become a superhero (Lady Wonder) and leap over resistance, trick it, allow it to spin me and even catapult me in the direction I’m going. I can walk on by – singing the song. I affirm that there is plenty of space for all kinds of energies to co-exist in love and support.

When I encounter someone and am about to but heads, I will compliment their tie pattern or shoes and melt the resistance for a moment, or I’ll spin and know that we are really one spinning dervish energy. Or I’ll get passionate and do a tango or say, “later gator, my dance card is full.”

Creating a new story about resistance is doing me good. Maybe we just created resistance as an excuse to stay safe and stuck. What if resistance doesn’t exist? What if what we call resistance and place outside of ourselves were really drag, ie all the baggage we haul behind us all the time, dragging behind us and holding us back and slowing us down? What if resistance is just a projection of our inner drag onto the outside world?

Just imagine: if we did away with the idea that anything OUT THERE is preventing us from doing anything, then what’s the big deal? Could it be us? Could we be the resistance? If we are – we’re in luck. We can change our thoughts and the way we see things – and then the world changes.

Just for today I’m going to try on this new way of seeing resistance. Next time I feel like I’m pushing up against some person, place or thing I’m going to stop, breathe and say “WANNA DANCE?”

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A long time practitioner of Yoga, I have recently started studying Yoga as taught by B.K.S. Iyengar. I am in heaven.  Not only do I love the way my body is responding but I love the notion of intentionality and the call to monitor, measure and manage – in life as in Yoga. When I got home I found Light on Yoga, B.K.S. Iyengar’s classic text. What follows is a part of the introduction written by Yehudi Menuhin, a long-time student of Iyengar’s and one of the finest violinists of the 20th century.

“The practice of Yoga induces a primary sense of measure and proportion. Reduced to our own body, our first instrument, we learn to play it, drawing from it maximum resonance and harmony. With unflagging patience, we refine and animate every cell as we return daily to the attack, unlocking and liberating capacities otherwise condemned to frustration and death….

The practice of Yoga over the past fifteen years has convinced me that most of our fundamental attitudes to life have their physical counterparts in the body. Thus comparison and criticism must begin with the alignment of our own left and right sides to a degree at which even finer adjustments are feasible; or strength of will will cause us to start by stretching the body from the toes to the top of the head in defiance of gravity. Impetus and ambition might begin with the sense of weight and speed that comes with free-swinging limbs, instead of with the control of prolonged balance on foot, feet or hands, which gives poise. Tenacity is gained by stretching in various Yoga postures for minutes at a time, while calmness comes with quiet, consistent breathing and the expansion of the lungs. Continuity and a sense of the universal come with the knowledge of the inevitable alternation of tension and relaxation in eternal rhythms of which each inhalation and exhalation constitutes one cycle, wave or vibration among the countless myriads which are the universe.”

Namaste

Breathing

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Now that I’m admitting who my niche really is – you’re showing up everywhere.  Like vocabulary words I thought started showing up magically once I’d learned what they meant, I keep seeing my ideal clients walking up to me on the beach and asking for my business card (true – happened yesterday).  I realize that the clearer I get about who you are, what you need and what I can do to make your life better -  you ask if I do groups live here on St. Thomas as well as online?  Yes.

I’ve taken out my Strategic Attraction Plan and  started filling it in again.  It’s such an amazing tool for getting really clear and becoming a vibratory match for who (what) you want to attract:  perfect clients, life partner,  great VA, business partner, house, great job, literary agent, ideal pet.

Start by making an exhaustive list of characteristics you want your ideal client to possesses and what you  expect of them.  Next  make a list of your characteristics and what your client’s can expect of you.  Post it on the fridge or put it under your pillow.  When you think of a characteristic that you forgot to put on the list – like having enough money to pay for a coaching – add it.  To your list too.

As I’m learning about my niche and getting clearer about who my perfect clients are, picturing them and thinking about them, I know I am  inviting them in.  They are bound to show up – like the woman at the beach.  It’s attraction hunting (or is that an oxymoron?). It like an opera singer hittting a certain note and breaking a glass -  the note and the glass are at the same vibratory frequency.  Hmmm -  if I get crystal clear on my niche maybe I’ll hear the shattering of glass.  My glass ceiling.

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You’re a mid-life woman – baby boomer age span 1947-1964 ( you are if you say your are – a bit younger, a bit older works too ). You know you’re in a pivotal place in your life. You’re entering new territory. You’ve never felt this way before and it can get scary.

You find yourself re-evaluating everything – your relationships, your body, your health, life-style, vision, goals, your ward-robe.

You’re saying enough is enough – no more poverty mentality, no more breaking promises to yourself, no more putting up with people, places and things that drain your energy. No more putting yourself last. No more making excuses for why you’re not doing what you said you would. “Excuses Begone.”

You wonder who you are. What’s your purpose in life now that your kids are gone, your job has changed, you retire, you get divorced or lose a partner, your health changes, you relocate and your body, mind and soul are undergoing a ‘growth spurt’.

You can’t turn back the clock but you want to stay fit and healthy. You want to have adventures. You want to look good and feel great. You’ve got a contribution to make and miles to go and you’d really like to do it with enthusiasm and joy. You want to uncover and embrace the blessings of your next chapter.

You’ve heard of the Law of Attraction. Maybe you’ve seen or read the Secret and heard Oprah talk about deliberate creation. You might be a long time student of Law of Attraction. Either way, you’re still not where you want to be. You’re ready to do whatever it takes including taking risks, doing the work, asking for help and being willing to see things differently.

You’d like to be thinner? You dream of running a 1/2 marathon? You wonder if it’s too late to hope for a wonderful love life? You worry about the future? You wonder if this is all there is? You are drawn to spiritual books and films and are interested in alternative approaches to being balanced (from Activia to meditation).

If you are nodding in recognition at the above description – you’re my niche!! I welcome your comments. What rang true? What didn’t? What did I forget? What are your challenges, frustrations and last straws? Help me to help you.

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I was going to write my blog last night, had some good ideas and then kept doing other thing as the clock turned 8pm then 9pm and next thing I knew it was 6am and sun-rise.

When I realized I’d missed a day of blogging in this 30 day blog challenge – I thought “I blew it”, “as usual” – “lasted a week and then lapsed.” Negative self talk – loser me.

Luckily paying attention pays off and I noticed that I was traipsing down a thorny path and stopped. I recalled that the challenge said 30 day blog challenge – ie 30 blogs in 30 days. I’m doubling up today.

I have to admit the possibility of not doing 2 blogs today passed fleetingly through my mind and I cringed at the thought of blogs piling up. It made me want to quit while I was ahead.

There are  situations with similar dynamics:

- you eat a cookie on a no carb, no sugar diet and figure you’d better forget the diet – you blew it with the cookie;

- you vow to keep track of money you spend, or the food you eat and you last a day or two, fall off the wagon and never get back on again.

It’s got me thinking about what keeps us on track even when it comes to doing something we enjoy. What helps us to show up and keep our promises, to ourselves and others?

First we have to make a promise – like I did to myself and others by signing up for this 30 Day Blog Challenge.
We have to see clearly and value the benefits of fulfilling the challenge.  We have to do whatever we need to remind ourselves – with alarms, buddies, routines – be it blogging, yoga, meditation, walking, reading, practicing the violin. Simple practices ground us no matter what is going on.  We may need community, or a ride, a nudge,  soul searching.

If you’re not doing something you say you want to do, ask yourself if you really and truly want to do it. Maybe you don’t and are afraid to say so. If you do, stop making up stories and using them as excuses. As for help. There’s nothing like a great coach to hold a space for you to be your most amazing.

I’m going to keep it simple here. I want to blog. I fell asleep and missed a day and I’m going to make it up. I learned I should blog earlier in the day – not as risky;  and that it would be a good idea to build up a small store of blogs to use when I’m away or fall asleep.

This advice to myself is for you too. It applies to anything that you use to let yourself off the hook of keeping a promise. It suggests making things easy for yourself, getting enough sleep, support, leaving yourself some wiggle room and making up stories that invite you to step into new places within and without.

I’m keeping my blog promise to myself and to you.

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