Spiritual and secular teachers tell us not to ‘hold on too tight’ and that attachment is at the bottom of all our suffering. We’re supposed to ‘let go and let god’, write our dreams on slips of paper and put them under our pillows, release one another to be happy and free.
Neediness is a “no no” in the quest for romantic partnership and an unattractive attribute in anyone over three. Possessiveness and jealousy do not bode well for loving relationships. They trail high drama, resentment and heart-ache in their wake, to a country western soundtrack.
Lately, I’m learning that the bittersweet taste of letting go leads to liberation and the exponential growth of love. I have my poodles, Roxy and Ginger and Lily, my daughter, to thank for this.
I moved onto my sweet-hearts boat with plans to sail to Grenada. I asked for and received a loving couple to move into my periwinkle blue cottages and take care of the dogs. I’d stop by to see how things were going but I wasn’t prepared for how ‘settled down’ things could get so quickly.
After making a great to do over my appearance (tail wagging and lots of licks and woofs) Roxy, (my 12 year old baby), was sitting in my lap cuddling when my tenant walked in. Roxy leaped out of my lap and raced over to her – jumping up and down, wagging her tail (maybe even more than for me) and crying to be petted. My heart contracted and my monkey mind kicked into gear. Wow, how fickle, how quickly Roxy shifted her affections. My dogs don’t love me anymore, etc…
These inner conversations gave way to gratitude once I realized that I’d gotten what I wanted: for Roxy and Ginger to be loved and cared for. Roxy was just showing me how well she was doing and how well I had done.
Giving up being the only person (aside from my daughter) who gets licked to death opened the gate of gratitude and an ocean of love and well-being flowed through many channels – not just through me.
I released Roxy and Ginger to lap up all available love while spreading their kisses around and, as I did this, I was released to go forth and enjoy my currently dog-less state.
To lock in the” letting go learning”: I picked Lily up and drove her to her Dad’s house. She was going to bake cheese cakes with her Dad’s girlfriend. I stuck around for a while and had a chance to see how close those two were. Janet said that she adored Lily and cherished a relationship that allowed them to talk for hours and hang out together at the beach.
I turned green with envy and my monkey mind went wild. I was being supplanted and replaced… until I realized how glad I am that Lily has Janet in her camp rooting for her and showering her with love.
Letting go of my exclusive right to love and care for my daughter or my poodles opened the door to another, more spacious reality. I felt the energy of love that is everywhere and remembered that we are all channels. The more love, the better.
When I am afraid that there isn’t enough to go around – enough love or money or well-being, I am clingy and hold on tight because I am afraid it will be taken away or vanish.
Roxy and Ginger
When I remember that there is an infinite quantity of love and abundance, I celebrate, share and enjoy it all.
