Size, Perspective and Fish by Anne Nayer, msw, Coach Paradise

When a friend asked if I was going to take over both of my cottages when my tenant moves out  I answered with a resounding YES. Individually the cottages make two good-sized studio’s – one with kitchen and one without. Together they constitute a lovely two pod home.

I have never occupied the entire ‘house’ (i.e. both cottages) in the 6 years I’ve lived here.  My daughter  lived in one of them for the first couple of years and it stayed her space as she came and went from school until I went sailing and sublet the whole house,

I smiled as I pictured expanding into the additional space and wondered if I’d grow bigger as I transitioned to a bigger tank, or, in this case, a bigger living space..

Not only would my ‘stuff’ ooze from one cottage to the other, but I myself might grow into my larger, more elegant, villa and expand into the kind of person who lives in a wonderfully magical, spacious, colorful, well equipped, comfortable, artfully decorated tropical home; the kind of person who grows into her new queen sized bed, leaving her day bed for lounging and guests. Like Alice in Wonderland, I might go to sleep at 5’ tall and 92 pounds and wake up 5’8 and 160!

Something was stuck in my mind about aquarium fish that get bigger if they are put in a bigger tank so I did some research and discovered that the size of the tank the fish is kept in is a determining factor on whether it grows to its full potential size or is somewhat smaller. It’s not that that fish will keep growing past their genetic program,  just that if you keep it in a too small space it will fail to reach it’s full size – or full potential.

In an average 10 gallon tank, if well cared for and not crowded, goldfish can grow up to about 4 inches (10 cm), while in a larger uncrowded tank they can grow larger, generally reaching about 7 or 8 inches (17.78 – 20.32 cm). If kept in a spacious pond they can reach over 12 inches (30+ cm), with some hobbyist reporting their common goldfish reaching up to a whopping 18″ (45+ cm)!

I wouldn’t want to be a goldfish in a 10 gallon tank, condemned to a stunted half size when I could be reaching my full gold-fish potential in a pond.

Here was a new perspective on expanding into my cottages or maybe into your getting a promotion at work, moving into a bigger office because you’re straining at the walls your cubicle, outgrowing your current job description at home and or/at work and it made me think about when I was a kid  allowed to range further and further from our apartment.  Like a goldfish, I kept getting bigger as the tank of my world expanded,  literally and in confidence, in new experiences and a bigger vision as I ventured forth from my housing project into the new, bigger space of the city.

My mother bought clothes for me with ‘room to grow” and I did  the same for my daughter.  As adults we may keep our skinny clothes and our bigger jeans, but we tend to arrive at a size when we reach our full genetically programed, environmentally nourished physical stature.  We continue growing so many other respects: our minds,  emotional lives,  knowledge,  skills, spirituality and so much more. If we get stuck in a too small tank we stop growing and and risk staying “too small” ourselves.

I thought that gold fish were supposed to be small and live in a small tank. I wonder if I think the same about people – accept their stunted states for full grown. Maybe they could be so much more – swishing their tails in big ponds, double the size.

What about you?  Are you in a too tight space in some area of your life?  How might you expand into a bigger picture, rise to the occasion, move outside of the box, take off a too tight shoe? What clothes have been in closet of your imagination that are waiting for you to grow into them – whether it’s the business suit, the wedding gown, the judges gown, the slinky dance outfit or the beach bum cut-offs?

Here’s to expanding into uncharted territory inside and out.  See you in the pond.