Doing the Resistance Rhumba

Resistance has been on my mind – that feeling of pushing against, struggling with, locking horns with some person, place or thing. It’s the feeling that even though I’m doing everything I can to get what and where I want , things keeping getting in my way so I can’t proceed smoothly or quickly.

Sigmund Freud – father of modern psychology described resistance as an inner stance protecting memories so disturbing the we create a psychic armor to prevent us from shining a light , dealing with and watching the resistance crumble.

When we are swimming and encounter a strong current we panic and try to swim against it back to shore. WRONG. We deplete our strength and lose energy if we confront the current head-on.  We supposed to swim across it and out of its way – it does its thing and we do ours.

Maybe we live or work with people who drive us crazy in any number of ways – meaning we are in resistance.  We wish they ‘d be different and believe our stories about them and how they are effecting our lives.  It can be your kids, spouse or co-workers or a stranger and doesn’t it always seem that the more aggravated and judgmental we get, the more they dig in their heels?

Whatever we resist persists.  Whatever we focus on expands and, when we’re resisting and struggling and complaining we are focusing on what is getting in our way and pissing us off.  Our focus feeds the resistance to match our own determination to push past it.  Pretty exhausting!  We all do versions of the myth of Sisyphus every day, using up lots of energy in the process.

I’m all for doing things differently.  I’m tired of pushing against, judging, feeling self-righteous and like a victim struggling against the current to get to shore or to town or just to a peacful place in my heart.

So….  I have started telling a new story about resistance.  I LOVE RESISTANCE and I’m proclaiming it to the universe.  I am grateful every day for the push and pull it sets up in such a rhythmic and musical way.  Resistance is my latest favorite dance and, as a dancer from way back, I welcome the spins and twirls, the pushaways and the pullbacks.  I love finding and relaxing into exactly the right dance ‘frame’ and moving gracefully.  I love coming from a place where leading and being led are part of the same package.

When I think about resistance this way I start to smile and have fun.  I become a superhero (Lady Wonder) and leap over resistance, trick it, allow it to spin me and even catapult me in the direction I’m going.  I can walk on by – singing the song.  I affirm that there is plenty of space for all kinds of energies to co-exist in love and support.

When I encounter someone and am about to but heads, I will compliment their tie pattern or shoes and melt the resistance for a moment, or I’ll spin and know that we are really one spinning dervish energy.  Or  I’ll get passionate and do a tango or say, “later gator, my dance card is full.”

Creating a new story about resistance is doing me good.  Maybe we just created resistance as an excuse to stay safe and stuck.  What if resistance doesn’t exist? What if what we call resistance and place outside of ourselves were really drag, ie all the baggage we haul behind us all the time, dragging behind us and holding us back and slowing us down?  What if resistance is just a projection of our inner drag onto the outside world?

Just imagine: if we did away with the idea that anything OUT THERE is preventing us from doing anything, then what’s the big deal?  Could it be us?  Could we be the resistance?  If we are – we’re in luck.  We can change our thoughts and the way we see things – and then the world changes.

Just for today I’m going to try on this new way of seeing resistance.  Next time I feel like I;m pushing up against some person, place or thing I’m going to stop, breathe and say “WANNA DANCE?”