Whatever we resist persists. Whatever we focus on expands and, when we’re resisting and struggling and complaining we are focusing on what is getting in our way and pissing us off. Our focus feeds the resistance to match our own determination to push past it. Pretty exhausting! We all do versions of the myth of Sisyphus every day, using up lots of energy in the process.
I’m all for doing things differently. I’m tired of pushing against, judging, feeling self-righteous and like a victim struggling against the current to get to shore or to town or just to a peaceful place in my heart.
So…. I have started telling a new story about resistance. I LOVE RESISTANCE and I’m proclaiming it to the universe. I am grateful every day for the push and pull it sets up in such a rhythmic and musical way. Resistance is my latest favorite dance and, as a dancer from way back, I welcome the spins and twirls, the push-aways and the pullbacks. I love finding and relaxing into exactly the right dance ‘frame’ and moving gracefully. I love coming from a place where leading and being led are part of the same package.
When I think about resistance this way I start to smile and have fun. I become a superhero (Lady Wonder) and leap over resistance, trick it, allow it to spin me and even catapult me in the direction I’m going. I can walk on by – singing the song. I affirm that there is plenty of space for all kinds of energies to co-exist in love and support.
When I encounter someone and am about to but heads, I will compliment their tie pattern or shoes and melt the resistance for a moment, or I’ll spin and know that we are really one spinning dervish energy. Or I’ll get passionate and do a tango or say, “later gator, my dance card is full.”
Creating a new story about resistance is doing me good. Maybe we just created resistance as an excuse to stay safe and stuck. What if resistance doesn’t exist? What if what we call resistance and place outside of ourselves were really drag, ie all the baggage we haul behind us all the time, dragging behind us and holding us back and slowing us down? What if resistance is just a projection of our inner drag onto the outside world?
Just imagine: if we did away with the idea that anything OUT THERE is preventing us from doing anything, then what’s the big deal? Could it be us? Could we be the resistance? If we are – we’re in luck. We can change our thoughts and the way we see things – and then the world changes.
Just for today I’m going to try on this new way of seeing resistance. Next time I feel like I’m pushing up against some person, place or thing I’m going to stop, breathe and say “WANNA DANCE?”
A long time practitioner of Yoga, I have recently started studying Yoga as taught by B.K.S. Iyengar. I am in heaven. Not only do I love the way my body is responding but I love the notion of intentionality and the call to monitor, measure and manage – in life as in Yoga. When I got home I found Light on Yoga, B.K.S. Iyengar’s classic text. What follows is a part of the introduction written by Yehudi Menuhin, a long-time student of Iyengar’s and one of the finest violinists of the 20th century.
“The practice of Yoga induces a primary sense of measure and proportion. Reduced to our own body, our first instrument, we learn to play it, drawing from it maximum resonance and harmony. With unflagging patience, we refine and animate every cell as we return daily to the attack, unlocking and liberating capacities otherwise condemned to frustration and death….
The practice of Yoga over the past fifteen years has convinced me that most of our fundamental attitudes to life have their physical counterparts in the body. Thus comparison and criticism must begin with the alignment of our own left and right sides to a degree at which even finer adjustments are feasible; or strength of will will cause us to start by stretching the body from the toes to the top of the head in defiance of gravity. Impetus and ambition might begin with the sense of weight and speed that comes with free-swinging limbs, instead of with the control of prolonged balance on foot, feet or hands, which gives poise. Tenacity is gained by stretching in various Yoga postures for minutes at a time, while calmness comes with quiet, consistent breathing and the expansion of the lungs. Continuity and a sense of the universal come with the knowledge of the inevitable alternation of tension and relaxation in eternal rhythms of which each inhalation and exhalation constitutes one cycle, wave or vibration among the countless myriads which are the universe.”
Namaste
Breathing
Now that I’m admitting who my niche really is – you’re showing up everywhere. Like vocabulary words I thought started showing up magically once I’d learned what they meant, I keep seeing my ideal clients walking up to me on the beach and asking for my business card (true – happened yesterday). I realize that the clearer I get about who you are, what you need and what I can do to make your life better – you ask if I do groups live here on St. Thomas as well as online? Yes.
I’ve taken out my Strategic Attraction Plan and started filling it in again. It’s such an amazing tool for getting really clear and becoming a vibratory match for who (what) you want to attract: perfect clients, life partner, great VA, business partner, house, great job, literary agent, ideal pet.
Start by making an exhaustive list of characteristics you want your ideal client to possesses and what you expect of them. Next make a list of your characteristics and what your client’s can expect of you. Post it on the fridge or put it under your pillow. When you think of a characteristic that you forgot to put on the list – like having enough money to pay for a coaching – add it. To your list too.
As I’m learning about my niche and getting clearer about who my perfect clients are, picturing them and thinking about them, I know I am inviting them in. They are bound to show up – like the woman at the beach. It’s attraction hunting (or is that an oxymoron?). It like an opera singer hittting a certain note and breaking a glass – the note and the glass are at the same vibratory frequency. Hmmm – if I get crystal clear on my niche maybe I’ll hear the shattering of glass. My glass ceiling.
You’re a mid-life woman – baby boomer age span 1947-1964 ( you are if you say your are – a bit younger, a bit older works too ). You know you’re in a pivotal place in your life. You’re entering new territory. You’ve never felt this way before and it can get scary.
You find yourself re-evaluating everything – your relationships, your body, your health, life-style, vision, goals, your ward-robe.
You’re saying enough is enough – no more poverty mentality, no more breaking promises to yourself, no more putting up with people, places and things that drain your energy. No more putting yourself last. No more making excuses for why you’re not doing what you said you would. “Excuses Begone.”
You wonder who you are. What’s your purpose in life now that your kids are gone, your job has changed, you retire, you get divorced or lose a partner, your health changes, you relocate and your body, mind and soul are undergoing a ‘growth spurt’.
You can’t turn back the clock but you want to stay fit and healthy. You want to have adventures. You want to look good and feel great. You’ve got a contribution to make and miles to go and you’d really like to do it with enthusiasm and joy. You want to uncover and embrace the blessings of your next chapter.
You’ve heard of the Law of Attraction. Maybe you’ve seen or read the Secret and heard Oprah talk about deliberate creation. You might be a long time student of Law of Attraction. Either way, you’re still not where you want to be. You’re ready to do whatever it takes including taking risks, doing the work, asking for help and being willing to see things differently.
You’d like to be thinner? You dream of running a 1/2 marathon? You wonder if it’s too late to hope for a wonderful love life? You worry about the future? You wonder if this is all there is? You are drawn to spiritual books and films and are interested in alternative approaches to being balanced (from Activia to meditation).
If you are nodding in recognition at the above description – you’re my niche!! I welcome your comments. What rang true? What didn’t? What did I forget? What are your challenges, frustrations and last straws? Help me to help you.
I was going to write my blog last night, had some good ideas and then kept doing other thing as the clock turned 8pm then 9pm and next thing I knew it was 6am and sun-rise.
When I realized I’d missed a day of blogging in this 30 day blog challenge – I thought “I blew it”, “as usual” – “lasted a week and then lapsed.” Negative self talk – loser me.
Luckily paying attention pays off and I noticed that I was traipsing down a thorny path and stopped. I recalled that the challenge said 30 day blog challenge – ie 30 blogs in 30 days. I’m doubling up today.
I have to admit the possibility of not doing 2 blogs today passed fleetingly through my mind and I cringed at the thought of blogs piling up. It made me want to quit while I was ahead.
There are situations with similar dynamics:
– you eat a cookie on a no carb, no sugar diet and figure you’d better forget the diet – you blew it with the cookie;
– you vow to keep track of money you spend, or the food you eat and you last a day or two, fall off the wagon and never get back on again.
It’s got me thinking about what keeps us on track even when it comes to doing something we enjoy. What helps us to show up and keep our promises, to ourselves and others?
First we have to make a promise – like I did to myself and others by signing up for this 30 Day Blog Challenge.
We have to see clearly and value the benefits of fulfilling the challenge. We have to do whatever we need to remind ourselves – with alarms, buddies, routines – be it blogging, yoga, meditation, walking, reading, practicing the violin. Simple practices ground us no matter what is going on. We may need community, or a ride, a nudge, soul searching.
If you’re not doing something you say you want to do, ask yourself if you really and truly want to do it. Maybe you don’t and are afraid to say so. If you do, stop making up stories and using them as excuses. As for help. There’s nothing like a great coach to hold a space for you to be your most amazing.
I’m going to keep it simple here. I want to blog. I fell asleep and missed a day and I’m going to make it up. I learned I should blog earlier in the day – not as risky; and that it would be a good idea to build up a small store of blogs to use when I’m away or fall asleep.
This advice to myself is for you too. It applies to anything that you use to let yourself off the hook of keeping a promise. It suggests making things easy for yourself, getting enough sleep, support, leaving yourself some wiggle room and making up stories that invite you to step into new places within and without.
I’m keeping my blog promise to myself and to you.