When Lily was a very little girl – maybe 2, she had a book about a baby bird who falls out of its nest and spends the book going around to different animals asking: “Are you my mother?” She asks, in turn, a cow, a cat, a goat, and a pig, all animals that toddlers love to imitate – moo, woof, cock a doodle doo, oink – “Are you my mother?” And one after the other, each tells the baby bird that their baby is a calf, a puppy, a chick, a piget and, “No I’m not your mother.” The baby bird, disappointed but undaunted continues its search until it comes across the mother bird who has been looking frantically for her baby bird and they are, happily ever after, reunited.
Today, when I came home I walked into my house and met a creature who looked like my daughter LIly but who acted like someone else. I asked, “Are you my daughter?”. She snapped, “No, I’m not your daughter, ” and stormed out. She returned a little later, in yet another incarnation, looking familiar but still behaving in disconcerting ways, thinking she could maybe fool me. I asked, “Are you my daughter?” to which she replied in silent body language, “No, I’m not your daughter either.” I waited patiently ( a kind of searching) for my off=spring, my heart seeking her out and my arms longing to enfold her and hold her close. Finally, yet another young woman emerged and entered the kitchen, combed and dressed to go out, speaking in tones I recognized as her own. I gave thanks and knew, “Here she is, finally, done shape-shifting, back, prodigal and on her way out.” I breathed a sign of relief and climbed back into my nest watching her walk up the steep driveway to her car.
That is such a beautiful story that you applied to your daughter and yourself. Having raised three daughters myself who are now grown up and married there were times when I wondered if one, in particular, was my daughter. Then moments or sometimes hours later the “real” daughter would appear. It just shows that we all have different facets to our personality and sometimes the one we show to our loved ones is not the one they want to see.
I can tell you have a deep bond with your daughter! Thanks for sharing, Anne.
Yvonne – Thanks for commenting and thanks for understanding, both that the face we show others is not always the one they want to see and how difficult that can be in others – especially our daughters. Thanks also for feeling the deep bond – and congrats on having raised 3 daughters. xxx Anne
Wow! What wisdom on your part to KNOW to hold sacred space, let her be, work out whatever was going on between her ears and with her heart/spirit, and wait. You are special ~ wise and aware. You are both blessed! As am I to be witness through your words. Thank you!
Bonnie – Love that you tuned into holding a sacred space – challenging but that indeed is what makes all the difference – the sacred nest – interesting that this post got a lot of reaction – clearly people identify –
So nice to hear from you …xxAnne