In the spirit of Mothers’ Day, I’d like to share a story that a coaching colleague told me. It contains a powerful message and a call to action that touched my heart.

It’s about a woman for whom things were going really well. Her life was changing in delightful ways that included love, adventure, friendship, beautiful places and much, much more. She was grateful for all her blessings and good fortune.

You know how, when things are going really well, there can be some aspect of life – a chronic work situation, a relationship, a health issue, a financial blind spot – that keeps cropping up to remind us that schools not out yet, there are lessons to be learned and that life is an unending opportunity to grow in wisdom and in love?

Well, this was what was happening for her and it had to do with her relationship with her daughter. She described the relationship as full of strain, poor communication and resentment on both sides. During coaching, as she spoke of this relationship, her relationship with her own mother kept coming up. She described that relationship as strained, with poor communication and resentments. She could summon up feelings of anger at her mother more than 10 years after her death at the age of 91.

She started to see that she was doing some of the same things that her mother did that had made her feel bad, judged and ‘not good enough’. She said, “Oh my God, I don’t want to do that to my daughter and I think I am.”

It was as though a light bulb went off in her head and heart. She heard an inner voice say, very clearly, that forgiving her mother and healing that relationship would change her relationship with her daughter. She heard the words, “Look in the mirror. Stop complaining about how bad things are and blaming everyone else. Look in the mirror.”

She looked in the mirror and she saw herself. Coaching had helped her appreciate her good aspects more and more but she gasped at other things she saw and wanted to make some changes. Her first step in this process was finding a way to forgive her mother. Later she moved on to forgiving her daughter, herself and others and she spoke of the wonderful ripple effect it had had in her life.

In the way the universe has of lining things up just when you need them, she’d run into a friend who shared a forgiveness exercise that had changed her life.

Here’s the simple exercise/prayer that she shared. I have to admit that I’ve been doing it myself and I like how I feel when I saying it. Like the woman in the story, I know that as I’m saying it I am healing those difficult relationships that contain my most powerful lessons.

This is how is goes. You pick the person you most need to forgive and say, preferably out loud:

Namaste ______name______
The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

Forgive me   ______________
I forgive you______________
I love you      ______________
Thank you    _______________

When I do it, I feel like some frozen part of my hearts starts to break up like northern rivers do in the spring. After a long winter of thick ice, the river ‘goes out’, making a thunderous, underground noise as the ice cracks and moves downstream, melting along the way until the river flows freely to the sea.

If there’s someone in your life, past or present, living or dead, who still bugs you and arouses anger or resentment (whether it’s your mother, yourself or someone else), give this a try. It’s simple, easy, short and very powerful.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. It’s remembering something else.

Everywhere I turn people are talking about love. Gramps Morgan and Jimmy Cliff filled the Reichold Center with the sounds of joy and the absolute conviction that we are all connected, all part of the same divine consciousness and here to love one another.

My lovely charter guests on board Bel Ami played an audio book by Tich Nhat Hahn about love and relationships and how breaking down the barriers of anger and pain in our own hearts opens us to receive the gifts of love that surround us. Then, last night I watched West Side Story – the amazing musical about star crossed lovers (like Romeo and Juliet) whose desire to cross cultural boundaries results in the tragic deaths of three men.  Maria, the Puerto Rican Juliet makes a passionate plea for an end to hatred.

I saw West Side Story on Broadway when it first came out in the 60’s.  The score by Leonard Bernstein and words by Stephen Sondheim are etched in my memory forever.  I can sing most of the songs and even do a few of the dance numbers but I thought it might be dated.  It’s one of the most amazing shows I have ever seen (on screen or stage) and not only because of its great cast, score and choreography.  I had forgotten the intense raw power of the ending that had us all in tears with one audience member skipping out because she couldn’t bear what she knew was going to happen.

West Side Story is based on Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.  The Jets – a gang of Italian American kids in New York City are pitted against the Sharks, a gang of new immigrant Puerto Ricans establishing themselves.  In the midst of turf war and tough posing, Maria (the sister of Bernardo, head of the Sharks) and Tony (a former Jet who is now working instead of hanging out) meet at a dance. It’s love at first sight.

They stand on the fire escape singing Somewhere – an imaginary  place where they are free to love one another.

Back on the streets, the gangs are planning a ‘rumble’ to determine who gets to rule the neighborhood and call the shots. The duel between two gang members turns bad when someone pulls a knife. Tony shows up to stop the rumble and gets pulled into the fight and ends up killing Bernardo (Maria ‘s brother) who has already killed a Jet.  Before anyone knows what’s happening it’s a full on fight that disperses only at the sound of a police siren.

Just as Tony and Maria are about to run off to ‘Somewhere”, Tony is murdered to avenge Bernardo’s death and Maria cradles his body in her arms.  She gives an impassioned speech to the Jets and the Sharks and says it was hatred that killed them all and now she has hatred in her heart.

Both gangs come together to lift Tony’s body in a procession that includes everyone. Maria’s grief and her love unite them and for a second you get the feeling that they understand that they are not different from one another and are ashamed at the horror and bloodshed they have caused.

There is nothing dated here. Given the violence that threatens to take over my beloved islands, I can think of no better message to share than Maria’s about the dead-end nature of the downward spiral of violence and hatred and that  it is up to us to turn things around by seeing ourselves as connected to one another.  One Love, One Heart….

When each of us, right here and now become conscious and move together toward the light of love, things will change. Reminding ourselves often that we are all facets of the same crystal and that we have been created in love helps us to open our hearts to everyone as we see that we are all facets of a giant gem.

Whatever your religion and whether you speak of God, a higher power, Jah, or the magic of a sunrise – setting your internal dial on loving kindness and compassion and resetting it over and over again leads us to the “Peace is Every Step” of Tich Nhat Hahn and to great joy.

Join me this morning in planting the seed of peace and love in your hearts. Water it each day and send prayers of healing to all who suffer and are in need, including you.

Let’s make the Somewhere that Maria and Tony sing about be here, now, for everyone.  Let’s deliberately create lives we love and celebrate them in a world where it is safe to be ourselves.

The Law of Attraction reminds us over and over and over that the most important thing we can do for ourselves, those we love, for our communities and for the world is to feel good. When we fee happy and are ‘vibrating’ at the top of the ‘emotional guidance scale’ (with despair and powerlessness at the bottom and inner peace, love and joy, at the top) we attract similarly good feeling people, places and things into our experience and contribute to the overall well-being of the world.

We’ve all have had the experience of leaving the house in a bad mood, tripping on the steps, having a car drive by and splash our clean, white outfit before we bump into a lamp post (an exaggeration of course). We’ve also had the experience of waking up on top of the world, walking out into a sun-shiny day, greeting our smiling neighbors and gliding into a parking place right in front of our destination.

Since the world is indeed our mirror, it is all important to learn how to sooth our own energy and shift from negative to positive channels as quickly as possible. In TV terms, think of it like shifting from a news channel that makes you feel fearful and anxious to a show that gets you laughing or marveling at world’s beauty or the heroism of our fellow man. We can learn to change the channels of our minds and transform the world.

Yesterday I had a chance to practice what I preach. Here’s the story: I stepped into a dinghy from a sailboat to go ashore with several friends. The dinghy captain pulled the starter cord to get the motor going and forgot to look to see if anyone was behind him. Oops. I was, and I got hit in the nose by his elbow. Ouch. I had tears in my eyes and my nose hurt. I could feel the upset ooze through my entire body and I said a few choice, bleepable words. I carried the disgruntled mood ashore and into the restroom where I went to check out my nose and the bruise that was starting to discolor the inside of my eye socket. When I joined my boyfriend on the ledge of the pool, I saw a large golden dog lying on the ground basking in the attention of a cute 6 or 7-year-old girl. I went over to the dog and joined the girl in stroking the silky golden fur while chatting about how she (on vacation) missed her dog – a rescue dog named Moxie -from Mexico no less. I shared that I had a poodle named Roxie – all while petting the dog.

When I got up to rejoin my group. I was in a completely different state of mind and heart. I had soothed my own energy, shifted my focus and changed the channel. If I’d had my easy button with me – I would have pressed it and laughed as it said, “That was Easy”.

Dogs and little girls are no fail vibe raisers for me – as is music, a walk on the beach, a chocolate heart and a hug
In fact, I have a pretty extensive list of energy soothing activities and thoughts that calm me down and get me back to that feel good place from which I invite positive people, places and experiences into my life.

I know a teen who goes into the weight room and punches a punching bag to calm him down and release pent up anger. I have another friend who puts on her headset, lies back and listens to Mozart and another who sits in a lotus position and meditates and another who cooks up a storm.

What do you do to soothe your energy when your feathers are ruffled, when it rains on your parade or when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or you burn your toast? What do you do when you walk into work and someone says that the outfit you’re wearing makes you look fat, or you look at a newspaper headline and feel a wave of despair threatens to sink your ship?

Whether it’s something big or the littlest look, comment or passing thought, it helps to be prepared and to have your self-soothing practices ready to click into gear.

Start noticing what makes you feel good. Make a list – your own personal prescription for energy soothing. It’s free, no doctor’s signature required and custom designed to move you from sad, mad, frustrated or angry up the emotional guidance scale to feeling better – through optimism, hopefulness and on upwards toward peace, love and joy. It’s not about solving the problem, getting even or resolving the state of the world. It’s about soothing your energy in the present moment and freeing yourselves to move forward joyfully

So, what will it be – a golden puppy and a little girl, dancing up a storm, diving into turquoise water or sitting rocking on your porch? You get to name your own best energy soothing medicine.