My Coach (and yes, I do have a Coach), told me,” Nothing happens until you begin a conversation and are committed to asking, because asking is the beginning of creation.” I copied this and posted it on my fridge – central command in my cozy cottage.
She keeps telling me to have conversations with as many people as possible so they can experience the value I bring. and then to ask for what I want. She recommends asking and asking BIG and I have been doing just that with some pretty amazing results.
How often do we feel disgruntled and resentful because we don’t get what we want: the bigger piece of cake, the promotion, the prize, a day to sleep in, a hug, a chance to be, do or have something we’d really, really like? I can’t count the times I’ve been too shy, too insecure, unsure, lazy and too afraid to just put it out there and ask for what I really wanted. I can hear my mother going “Shhh- don’t ask – don’t be greedy, maybe they’ll say no. You don’t want to ask and look foolish.”
My coach is telling the truth. When I stand up and ask for what I want and ask BIG, things start happening. As I get clearer about what I want and put my request out there to the universe – the universe responds. When I ask, I am pleasantly surprised that my asking creates an opportunity for an answer. Asking gives another person the chance to say yes or no. Not asking just leaves us in perpetual want.
My Coach told me to collect No’s” – to ask as many people as possible to join my group. She told me to welcome No’s, because No’s are good things – you can’t get to Yes without them. Just think of the star basketball player who spoke of all the games he lost and baskets he missed and Thomas Edison speaking, not of failure, but of all the possibilities he eliminated in his 10,000 trials on the way to the light bulb. No’s are a big part of the equation in order to arrive at YES.
I’m stepping up to the plate and asking for what I want. I’m learning that I don’t have to be demanding, beligerant , defensive or apologetic when I ask. I’m making Ask and It Is Given my mantra. The universe may be able to read my mind but other people can’t. I figure I’m collecting No’s on the way to the big Yes. You can too! You just might end up enjoying that last biggest piece of cake.
Carnival season just ended in St. Thomas. What a great time of year. The focus is on having fun, enjoying the many carnival events, special foods and parades. Its no wonder that people are passionate about carnvial. It’s made up of magic, play, dress up, thinking big, showing off and strutting your stuff with abandon. And I do mean with abandon!
If we had Carnival year-round there’d be no time for planning, rest or sleeping it off and the overall operation of the island would suffer a big hit. I still wonder: what if we approached our daily lives with even a smidgeon of the excitement that carnival brings? What if we could be creative and replace the words work and busy with play and creatively engaged? What if we loved what we did, made a great living doing it and a contribution to something bigger than our selves – all at the same time?
Carnival gives us all permission to play and play is the basic activity of creation. Artists of all kinds know that playing and experimentation lead to magic and extraordinary results. Children approach their sandcastles and make-believe with an earnestness of people who are up to big things. Theyare so deeply engaged they don’t want to get out of the water or come in for dinner.
Keep the Carnival spirit alive in your lives all year round. Think of ways to incorporate the pure passion, the outrageous and magnificent costumes and inspired themes and songs of Carnival into your daily lives. Write your own Calypso song, choose a Carnival King or Queen name, dance down the street, dress up, hug your friends, walk on stilts and make a point of doing at least one thing to celebrate your life every single day.
What an amazing week! The Health and Wellness in the Sun Fair at Magen’s Bay was a smashing success. One of my clients described it as a giant “healing vortex”. I was so happy to have been a part of it. I spoke at the fair and had a number of people tell me that I emanated light and what I said was clear and inspired. Someone said I was a “natural.” I blushed and (secretly) lapped it up.
I’ve been working with people for over 30 years and coaching for a while and I know that I’m good – great results, rave reviews from clients and people who listen to my radio spots and read my articles. So why was it such a surprise to “realize” that I am amazing and have a lot to offer?
This dawning of an inkling of my own magnificence and power made me realize that I’ve spent most of my life (now not entirely excluded) thinking I’m less than, not good enough, OK but not stellar and on and on an on. Sound familiar? I know I don’t have a monopoly on failure to shine.
Marianne Williamson was right on when she wrote “our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us….”
Our culture discourages tooting your own horn – calls it bragging. We are encouraged to tow the line, not stand out in any flamboyant way and, nose to the grindstone. work hard. We love celebrities and dream of stardom but we are not schooled in loving ourselves and acknowledging what makes us wondrous and magnificent and truly unique.
One of the things I love about being a coach is that my life is my best raw material. My own experience of dancing and dragging my heels provide endless opportunities to acknowledge, welcome and release what holds me back and keeps me afraid and timid in my life. I get to use what goes on in my life and my commitment to being joyful to help others.
As I step into my own power and let my light shine I can see the effect that has on others. I see lights starting to go on all over the place. The people that I coach and those I reach through my words – spoken and written – become luminous. It is glorious to watch a person start a love affair with themselves and drink in the knowledge of their own divinity, their joy and their own special gifts.
I’m getting better and better at being a spark and am excited about my upcoming group: Attracting Paradise: Create Your Version of Paradise, Where Ever You Are, Starting Now! This one is a beach group and it’s a precursor to m teleclass of the same name and to so much more.
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I’m standing at my kitchen counter blogging with a baby chicken tucked into my camisole. It’s making sporadic peeps which tells me it’s swaddled and warm. I can feel the sun shining on me and BeBe (baby bird). Raising my gaze from the computer screen I see out to the deck and on out to sea. My eyes trace the perfectly flat horizon where white fluffy Caribbean clouds kiss the blue water. A Thrushy (local bird) is eating left-over dog food – a regular. Its the food chain in action. First the poodles, then the Thrushy (sometimes 2) and then the little Banana Quit shows up to pick at the last morsels. If I leave the dishes out, the ants are the final consumers (visible to the naked eye anyway).
I take great pleasure in this scenario. At moments like this, standing in a golden pool of sunlight, drinking my first cup of coffee, I am so aware of how the universe looks after me. I’m just paying it forward. I feel connected to all these creatures – even the roaches that I left out before because its harder to love them (left over from NYC apt. dwelling and cans of Raid). We are all a part of this magnifi
cent show and I’m just taking care of this teeny corner.
BeBe is peeping. This little ball of fluff and new feathers warms my heart as I warm its tiny body. Loving Bebe is loving everything. Caring for it (don’t know yet if hen or rooster) is helping everything to grow.
Everything we do, think, say and feel has an energetic impact. Our very presence effects the nature of everything else. We are all pebbles thrown in the collective pool radiating circles out from the center and changing the surface and the depths below.
Standing here I feel warm, grateful and full of light. I invite you to honor something small and routine that you do, think or say. Close your eyes and see the energy radiating out into the world. Know that, at this moment, you are a magnificent creator. This moment is your contribution to the world and it is good.