I went to a memorial gathering for a long-time employee at the wonderful, only bookstore in St. Thomas. A diverse group of people showed up and told stories of their relationship with him and how he had figured in their lives, their growth as readers and human beings and how much they will miss him. Poems were read and people told stories that warmed hearts and filled the room with tears and laughter. Someone pointed out that even though we live in a small community and pass each other, nodding and smiling over the years – too often we don’t really know one another or reach out and touch each other. We’re missing out on treasure troves and living connections that could enrich and support us. I kept wishing I had spent more time getting to know this guy as I heard about what a unique, funny, smart, great guy he was.
Sadly, I was reminded of this again all too soon at yet another memorial service. It was unspeakably tragic and sudden, a violent end to the peaceful life of a loving family man and preservationist. I couldn’t stop thinking of all the hours I’d spent standing next to him and his wife at soccer games as we watched his son and my daughter do super human things on the soccer field. We cheered loudly and were the kind of parents who showed up and took great pleasure in our kid’s lives. I am sorry that I never really got to know him and, as is often the case, I know far more about him now that he is gone.
Life is precious. As my Abraham-Hicks quote said this morning, it is measured in joy, not length. As with gemstones, it’s not only the surface that matters. Its important to know that, to an untrained eye, the shimmer or shine or dullness of an unpolished stone is only scanning the surface. The depth of each and every one of us is measured in fathoms. Endless and magical, we are full of untold treasures and an abundance of love. We are so often preoccupied, self-absorbed and distracted. We have learned to say good morning and good afternoon but how many of us know whom we are talking to, what matters to them, what successes and failures and joys and sorrows live in their hearts. How often have we not shared our treasures with those standing next to us at a soccer game or working away upstairs at the bookstore – or those people who we pass over and over again at K-mart, PTA meeting, in a line or at some public or private event.
Our community may be small, but like a life being measured in joy rather than length – it is measured in depth and connection. I am sobered and saddened at the loss of these two fine men so much earlier than anyone would have expected or wanted. I am inspired to seize the day, cultivate joy, be loving and, above all, take the time to get to know the people who cross my path over and over and to tell those around me how much I love and appreciate them as I share my treasures and ooh and aah over theirs.
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