Last weekend I went to my ex’s wedding. It was a moving, joy filled celebration of love and commitment at any age and a wonderful party. It was also proof that love trumps all, forgiveness heals old wounds and relationships are forever offering gifts if we’re open to receiving them. I loved seeing old friends, many of who were guests at our wedding 24 years ago and my ex and his bride were glad I showed up. It was a miracle as defined by The Course in Miracles: a change in perception/seeing things differently. On this balmy afternoon, new seeing left me feeling light, uplifted and radiant, surrounded by warm hugs, dances, reunions, new friends and old.
If you had told me in 2000 that I’d be feeling love and friendship for my ex I would have said, ‘No Way.” Anger, hurt and self-righteousness had hardened my heart. I had my dukes up. I’d turned my life upside down and, celebrating my freedom, I struggled with single parenthood and going it alone. Thanks to our daughter, my ex and I stayed connected over phone lines and annual visits when I moved away with Lily, but our conversations were short, to the point and emotionally charged. No lost love, you might have said, but there was.
Our 23 year old daughter was in the wedding party and it brought tears to my eyes to behold her: beautiful, grown up and happy, walking down the outdoor aisle at Inspiration Hall at Paradise Cove. We took our photo ops hugging and chatting easily and our couple of years of teen/mom acrimony, worry, anger and frustration flashed before me. I gave thanks for yet another miracle, for new vision, the transformational power of forgiveness and the healing power of love.
They say that time heals all wounds but it takes more than time to drain the emotional abscesses that get down deep and fester or lie dormant popping up and infecting every other relationship including the one with ourselves and our higher powers (God, Source, our inner guidance). Looking back over these past 12 years and over the past couple of difficult years with my daughter I could see what helped me most to move to this gathering place free of anger and hurt with open arms and an open heart.
When I discovered the Law of Attraction, I started to move from being a victim and thinking that someone else was responsible for my happiness to learning about being a deliberate creator of my life, inside and out. I meditated and glimpsed my true nature underneath (and beyond) the endless mental chatter. Tapped into a source of love and joy, I focused on what I wanted rather than on what I didn’t want and realized that being happy was the best way to attract more of the same into my life. Since ‘thoughts become things’ I paid attention and started thinking thoughts that would lead me to happier places. I did lots of inner work (therapy, prayer, meditation, spiritual study and becoming a coach) which helped me to heal, to discover who I really am, dismantle limiting beliefs, let go of expectations and assumptions, take responsibility for myself and stop playing the blame game. The Law of Attraction has helped me, allowed me to help others and to have lots of fun along the way. I decided to end the drama and rediscover the joy in my relationships and, while it’s a work in progress, I am so much happier now and eternally grateful for all that I now celebrate including this magical afternoon at my ex’s wedding.
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